Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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