If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
