so explain again why im purple
no
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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