I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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