Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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