There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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