Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
God, I missed his penis.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
