Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
