We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize