just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
