so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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