at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
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I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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