Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
