I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
