Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
