I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Me. At least after what I've been through.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
