Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
