I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
