Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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