She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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