went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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