I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
