It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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