he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
