I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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