Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
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I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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