yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
barbara walters just said penis...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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