Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
