I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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