Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
