I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
this is an emotional support booty call
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
