how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
