what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
