I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
