I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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