dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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