i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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