just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I currently don't understand fingers.
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