She is in my trunk
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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