yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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