Non-Jews are for practice
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
