It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm really busy with my period
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