im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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