Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
