Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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