in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just gift wrapped bread.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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