You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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