YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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