'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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