Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
