Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
