Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
