So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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