This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
