I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
