Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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