i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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