There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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