she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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