id be glad to
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
