I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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