im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
