I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
