dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
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I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
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There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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