drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
