I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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