All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
