GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
