okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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