i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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