i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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