I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
