once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
